The Ugly Truth
by Rrenell
Summary: The Huntik team must partake in a special group questionnaire to measure their ability to work as a team. Well, damn...


Disclaimer: Huntik Secrets and Seekers belongs to Iginio Straffi. I don't even want to think about it…

Disclaimer: Questionnaire belongs to Deb Calvert

* * *

 _September 27, 20XX_

 _To whom it may concern:_

 _As mandated by the Huntik Council, all members of operative groups are instructed to participate in a team effectiveness questionnaire. Rest assure these answers are anonymous and will in no way affect future endeavors. Be advised, failure to comply will result in temporary suspension of following missions._

 _Please see your respective interviewers, effective immediately._

 _Regards,_

 _Huntik Foundation, Human Affairs_

 _. . ._

 _Huntik Safehouse Berlin, Germany_

"Good evening, everyone. My name is Dr. Sullivan Doyle and I will be your interviewer for this team effectiveness questionnaire."

A few weary sighs and two clicks of tongue reverberated throughout the pale walls of the dreary office. At 7:01 in the evening, everyone's mind was half-present half-wanting to leave as soon as the clock hit 8. The chairs creaked as the present members shifted their weight from one side to another, legs and arms crossing and uncrossing in anxiousness for the upcoming survey.

The man in front of the six seekers pulled his own chair behind and scuffled a bit, seeming to make himself as comfortable as the plastic chaise allowed him to do so. His hands were long and thin, a thick wool sweater covering his small form as he directed his gaze towards the group in front of him. "Now, what we're going to do," he retrieved a manila folder from the left corner of the desk and separated various papers. "Is introduce yourselves all together and afterwards continue with the questionnaire separately, ok?" The rhetoric question was, as expected, unanswered and the doctor proceeded with the introductions. "Alright then, let's begin. May I ask your name, madam?"

"Zhalia Moon." Svelte legs and narrowed eyes turned towards the doctor as he printed her name in neat writing, the dark ink deeply ingrained in the translucent white of the papers under his board. So on and so forth it went with the names of Lok Lambert, Den Fears, Dante Vale, Harrison Fears, and last—but certainly not least—Sophia "Sophie" Casterwill. The felt tip of his pen made one last click before he looked up from is notes and addressed the seekers one last time as a group.

"Well, now that I've gotten your names I'm going to ask all of you to step out of the room. Except you, Ms. Moon, you will be the first one to complete the questionnaire." Zhalia raised a teasing eyebrow at his request. "The rest of you will be asked to wait until your name is called. Understood?"

Dante casted a sideways look at Zhalia as he made his way towards the door along the rest. In return, Zhalia blew a lazy kiss and twirled her fingers, a devious look in her eyes telling him her answers were something to (not) look forward to.

The russet hair seeker smirked at her display and walked out Dr. Doyle's office, a huff of breath escaping his lips.

 _Can't wait to hear these results._

. . .

 _The following is detailed report of the team under the leadership of seeker, Dante Vale. All proceeding questions were answered by all members, however, for simplicity purposes only the most notable answers have been disclosed. See ending notes for the complete report._

 **Do members of your team take time to build connections with each other?**

Den Fears: I really try to connect with Zhalia, ya know, since she practically mentored my brother for some time. So, I decided to give her a cute nickname. I called her Zee once and, let me tell you, I have never seen someone look at me _that_ menacing before. I swear she practically slapped me with her eyes.

 _Zhalia Moon's response:_

Zhalia Moon: Den called me Zee one time. I'm sorry, but do I look like I wear baggy clothes or listen to 90s hip hop? I gave him my full name, he needs to use it.

 _Interviewer's notes: Ms. Moon seems aggravated by pet names from her fellow team members, however, endearment monikers from Mr. Vale are sometimes welcomed. Sometimes._

 **Does your team value diverse opinions and perspectives?**

Sophia Casterwill: _Of course_ we value different perspectives. It's what makes our team have many great plans. But I do find myself against the notion of "there are no bad ideas". Just last week in Cairo, Den had thought it was a "great idea" to go undercover by sneaking inside the back of a bread truck. Not only was he seen by the driver, he also ended up dumping over 50 kilos of bread into a nearby river. The whole thing attracted the police and Dante had to go get him out of a local prison cell. I swear, that boy _cannot_ be more idiotic even if he put his mind to it.

 _Lok Lambert's response:_

Lok Lambert: The truth is, I was the one who thought of the stealth plan. And I was the one who threw the bread in the river. And it was me who ended up locked up in prison for the night. I convinced Den to take the blame in exchange for my mission to New Zealand. I was actually really looking forward to that one, but trust me, dodging that bullet was worth it.

 _Den Fears' response:_

Dean Fears: I still haven't gone to New Zealand.

 _Interviewer's notes: There seems to be an unspoken rule amongst the members to monitor Lok Lambert and Den Fears. Despite showing potential, they tend to engage in somewhat reckless behavior, bordering on moronic. One of them currently has a broken wrist. Harrison Fears made a crude comment about masturbation in regards to this injury._

 **Is the team taking time to celebrate the "small wins" along the way?**

Dante Vale: We do make it a point to encourage ourselves to continue doing well in our missions, that's why I like to take them out to do fun things every now and then. They are pretty young, after all.

Interviewer's question: When you say "them", does that include Ms. Moon as well?

Dante Vale: …

Dante Vale: … Our fun is entirely different from theirs…

 _Interviewer's notes: This question was cut short due to prevention of explicit details. However, Mr. Vale is commended for showing interest in his team. Perhaps too much interest in one member specifically, but I digress._

 **Do team members hold themselves and each other accountable for delivering what's expected?**

Sophia Casterwill: From what I remember, Lok owes me 30 euros.

 _Lok Lambert's response:_

Lok Lambert: Harrison owes me 20 pounds.

 _Harrison Fears' response:_

Harrison Fears: Den owes me 15 dollars.

 _Den Fears' Response:_

Den Fears: I owe a lot of people a lot of money.

 _Interviewer's notes: Apparently, monetary compensation is a vital part of this team. One conclusion can be made: most of them are broke (pardon the crude term). Not surprisingly at all, personal accountability was completely disregarded._

 **Has the team prioritized "doing it well" over "doing it fast"?**

Zhalia Moon: Absolutely. That's why Dante and I always take our time during sex. If it's done well, we're pretty much in a good mood for the rest of the day. So really, this benefits everyone.

 _Interviewer's notes: I'm afraid Ms. Moon failed to grasp the context of the question. It seems a lot of her responses involve Mr. Vale and some form of lewd act._

 _Harrison Fears' response:_

Harrison Fears: Does it matter? I mean, as long as you get to do it, you can't really complain. Am I right or am I right?

 _Interviewer's notes: Harrison Fear proceeds with a fist bump._

 _Interviewer's notes: To reiterate, this question is_ _ **not**_ _of the sexual nature. I do not understand why this particular group is adamant in replying as such. It must be noted that the level of physical intimacy amongst the group is alarmingly high._

 **Can members of the team count on each other for support and encouragement? Are they comfortable being candid as they give each other feedback?**

Sophia Casterwill **:** I have no problem being honest with my team. In fact, I always point out Zhalia's atrocious makeup.

 _Zhalia Moon's response:_

Zhalia Moon: Little Miss Casterwill constantly makes comments about my makeup, which—for the record—I don't even use. I think she's just mad because no matter how much money she may have she still dresses like a cheap doll from the local gas station.

 _Interviewer's notes: It may be safe to say that the only two female members of the group get along, seemingly. Though, I fear if these responses were to ever be disclosed to privy eyes, a feud will start yet again. Also, that last comment was a bit low…_

 **Do members of the team maintain a positive, can-do attitude?**

Dante Vale: For the most part, yes, the team is positive. I'm not going to lie, though, Zhalia is not exactly a basket of sunshine. Beautiful? Yes. Deadly? Sure. But as far as a positive attitude goes, no, she's not exactly an optimistic person. Hell, I don't even think her blood is positive.

 _Interviewer's notes: Ms. Moon's moderate hostility is a shared inconvenience throughout the group. The one who seems to understand it best is, surprisingly, Harrison Fears. It may be attributed to their previous partnership. Also, it must be noted Mr. Fears is somewhat negative himself._

 _This concludes the detailed report and the successful completion of the team effectiveness questionnaire._

 _Comments and/or Suggestions: Further sessions are strongly advised._

. . .

"I swear, you really should see these answers," Guggenheim laughed heartily, his hay blond hair bouncing slightly as he threw back his head in amusement. "You have your work cut out for you, don't you, Dante?"

Dante pursed his lips in deep contemplation, both feet planted firmly on the priceless Persian rug in Guggenheim's lavish office. To say he was curious was a gross understatement. His fingers twitched just thinking about grasping those papers from the older man's grasp and reading his team's comments. Actually, the comments he was really interested in were _Zhalia's._ The russet hair seeker didn't even know why he was as ruffled as he was just then, he just _was_.

He looked at Guggenheim then, his shoulders squared and chin raised up in a strong, confident façade. Carefully measured words escaped his lips. "I'll take the mission in Bueng Kan _if_ you let me read the report."

The German man narrowed his eyes as his mouth quirked tauntingly. Despite the confident image Dante presented, Guggenheim couldn't help but find Dante's little display childishly endearing. "I'll let you read _one_ member's comments, no more."

"Done."

Dante Vale did not need to be told twice.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** This was my first attempt at comedy. I'm honestly not sure if it's good or not but I had fun writing it all the same. By the way, I actually had to answer a team effectiveness questionnaire for my management classes and the real responses, the ones without the professors, oh man. Those are hilarious. Alright then, thanks to anyone who reads this story. You guys are the best. Also, I have something super adorable and romantic for Dante and Zhalia later on, emphasis on the later. But I do plan to work on it soon._

 _Take care guys!_

 _P.S. I know that after season 2, Dante joins the Huntik Foundation and Lok becomes the leader but… I prefer it this way. Nothing personal, it's just a little tidbit I like._


End file.
